lemme ask you one last time .

wht am i to you ?

i don't know , i'm so confused right now .

i'm missing darling at 11:15 AM

yesterday was 1st mth anni for us ! :D
but we gave each other cold shoulder , good or bad ?

nevermind . (:

torrent is my boyf nd xinyi is his girlf .
we'll last . x)

i'm missing darling at 3:09 PM

他还不懂还是不懂
离开是想要被挽留
如果开口那只是我要来的温柔
他还不懂永远不懂
一个拥抱能代替所有
爱绝对能够动摇我

this is how i feel .

i'm missing darling at 12:16 PM

i don't understand .
you said you treated me just like any friend .
yeah , i'm never important to you .
i have no idea how i'm going to say i love you anymore .
everything is so stupid , making me pissed off every night .
since you love your other friends so much , don't ever talk to me agn .
your friends are your everything , i'm just nothing in your eyes .
forget it , i hate you .

later going to work w jolyn nd some others .
i'm so oh my fuck pissed off .

i'm missing darling at 8:46 AM

went to work w jolyn initially .
give out flyers , we gave out 1500 altogether .
nd we only earned $27 together nd it has to split into half ! D:
thn we meet leesheng nd went to distribute booklets .
this pay is so much better , is $4.50 per block .
nd th person gave me $5 per block ! :D

throughout th whole working time , i was thinking of baby .
last time , he everyday work thn i disturb him every second .
i must have been such a burden to him , i guess ?

boy , it's only today i realise you occupies not only my heart but also my brain . (:

whtever .
you don't believe me , so be it .
anything , whtever .
i don't want to think about it anymore .
boy , you're pissing me off .
fuck you ! D:

i'm missing darling at 8:58 PM

patched !
yesterday patched up lers .

baby , i love you . (:

i have fever for like 4 days already . T.T
nd i'm so hungry . T.T

i'm missing darling at 6:15 PM

BYE .

请在我後悔之前离开我
在我还没有崩溃的时候
不愿意再用深情 勒索你的温柔
会有多难过明天再说
会有多难过等明天再说

i'm missing darling at 10:29 PM

baby , i thought for long but to figure out tht i'm still an extra in your life .
sometimes , i wonder , is it tht you really can't reply or is it tht you just simply don't want to reply .
well , i just don't know .

tday went for job interview nd it's kind of alright ?
th job is diff from wht we initially knew .
anyway , we're finding new jobs because tht job doesn't requires us to be thr .
hope th others will manage to find it for us ?
if not we'll be a bar girl , toilet cleaners , prositutes , tuition tchers or anything disgusting . =/
oh well , stop looking forward to it . =xx

arghh .
i played tht game in class nd i was retrenched ! D:
i don't want to be treasurer anymore .
thn thy won't force me to take care of all financial stuff .
blame it on tht tcher for making me th only one in class to take 'o' levels A maths .
but i already dropped it nd zhixian's result is so much better ! D:
boohoo ! DD:

baby baby baby , i miss you so much . <33

i'm missing darling at 9:17 PM

huh...
tomorrow is an important day
wat o
hehe
hope u
happy forever
my good dardar

i'm missing darling at 8:48 PM

poor baby , tday is his first day of college life but he seems so tired .
sort of neglected him these few days .. =/
i'm going to work w jolyn nd maybe leesheng nd maybe mandi ?
oh well , hope it won't be a disaster .
aft all , it's just giving out flyers . =/
thn another job w yihuan which i also not really think i'll be able to get it .
but th pay is really v. good ..
i don't dare to call th person yet lorhs . ><

tmorrow is an important day .
may i be blessed .
i mean we .

baby is mia agn . T.T
don't apologise to me .
it's not your fault anyway .
i was th one tht sort of neglected you . =/

i'm missing darling at 9:23 PM

actaully i not purposely no wan online
just i a bit busy
need to tidy my stuff
college thing and so on lo
haiz
soli lo
becoz din comapany u
don angry ok
dardar
haiyo
good luck and take care o

i'm missing darling at 8:00 PM

went out w yihuan from morning to night ! :D
was supposed to go for job hunting but ended up arcade-ing th whole day .
thn out of nowhr , pauyuen appeared ! -.=
ddr-ed nd fooled ard in th arcade . =/
nd guess wh i saw agn !? D:
tht freakening sickening asshole was thr w his friends .
it's not called fate , it's a nightmare .
to be specific , it's my nightmare . =/
nd i met crystal , wh is my pri school friend w huichuen .
wht a small small world . -.=
thn lewis nd dayan .
nd thn baobei's boyfriend , tall tall black black derhs . =x
slacked nd went to kfc to eat at 4pm .
actually was going to chat till 6pm whn i will be able to get into th house .
but we crapped till like ard 9pm ? =="

i dislike her , i detest thm nd i hate him .
her , thnks for backstabbing me infront of your friends .
thm , thnks for letting me know how cruel life is .
him , thnks for showing me how long is forever .

oh well , library tomorrow w yihuan ?
not sure yet , suddenly ..
hais .
i'm so disappointed in her .
cried nd figured out how stupid it is .
let her cont. backstabbing me , i can blame nobody but me .
blame myself for trusting somebody so much .

----

我要把你从我的记忆里删除掉 .
. gone been already had i've , gone i'm realise you time th by , late too
. this like be won't life my , me told ever you if
. all at me to nice not were you tht bfore times many warned so was i
. be could person fake how proving for thnks

----

jolyn , cheerup ! (:

i'm missing darling at 10:35 PM


went out w yihuan to library . =/
nd acc her to buy kite nd we camwhore-ed .
went to kfc for late lunch cum early dinner nd guess wh we met ?
tht freakening sickening asshole by th name of tang yuan hong nd his friend .
he is oh my fuck short , can ?!
whtever.whtever.whtever
he spoilt my day by his appearance .
nd super duper uber cute yihuan was not right in her mind tday .
she was intending to steal 12 storybooks to read . -.=
thn we made up our mind to buy couple things tgether .
baby , please do be jealous . =/

i feel so sad for th people wh are suffering in china now . :'[

i'm missing darling at 10:24 PM

we're so not fated to be , i guess .
once i online , your internet goes haywire .
zzz .
your laptop sure does hates me alot .

once yihuan sms me , i'll be heading down to meet her .
actually was going to fell asleep whn th phone vibrated .
going library later , cool ?
i got 7 books to return nd i think 4 already overdue , th other three are my sis's .

baby is missed ! (:

i'm missing darling at 2:15 PM

baby , i'm sorry tht i'm adding to your burden .

i'm just an extra , a replacement for her .
you know her so well , how abt me ?
whtever.whtever.whtever

forget it .
talked a lil while w him but realise we have nothing to talk abt .
having nothing to talk abt is making me feel so down ..
whtever.whtever.whtever

i love baby nd it's true .
my heart is thr for you , i promise .
whn you need someone to be thr for you , i’d be just sitting right beside you . (:

i'm missing darling at 9:28 AM

dardar.
plss don think u r replacement ok
becoz u really not la
gatric ah.
got take medi o not
must take o
ok
promise me
don always think like tat ok
don give me more stress ok
plss.
i no wan cheat u ma

i'm missing darling at 9:24 PM

hihi

i'm missing darling at 9:24 PM

whtever.whtever.whtever

i'm just a replacement nd i jolly well know it .

i wanted to blog a long long post .
but i'm having gastric , so byeeee .

nd i'm craving for ciggrates nd beer agn .
i know i shouldn't but i already quitted ciggrates already . =/

i'm missing darling at 8:42 PM

i hate torrent loo kong yong .

whtever.whtever.whtever
he gives me this feeling tht yuanhong once gave me .
whtever.whtever.whtever
his future don't have a me , only her .
whtever.whtever.whtever
i had enough of jealousy , anger nd sadness .
whtever.whtever.whtever

i'm just feeling so confused now .
carry on flirting w your friends , i don't care already .

i'm just an emotional person .
wh cries whn looking at newspaper , whn being compared , whn being abandoned .
i'm just not th person you want .
i don't want to be just a passerby , can you understand ?

don't sms or talk to me online .
i need some time to sort of my thoughts .
i'll get back to you whn i made up my mind ..

----

nd th photos i wanted to post to revenge zhuowen . =/

>

tht's my idiot friend . =/
i got more photos .
but i purposely put those he say he look ugly in nd those he act cute derhs . =x
too bad .
wh tell you don't entertain me .
bleahs ! =P

----

nd i found photos tht was taken a long long time ago . (:


taken last year .


this is my beloved kor ! :D
thnks kor for being thr whnever i need somebody to acc me .
though we always disiao each other but we always care for each other no matter wht .
you always call me didi nd i always call you jiejie .
i love you , you love me , we are one big family .. (:



nd this are just sad memories ..
first kiss , but tht's also th stupidest thing i could recall .

----

this is such a long long post . =x


i'm missing darling at 10:32 AM

hmm .
i realise somebody is tgether w th girl i sort of dislike .
whtever.whtever.whtever
nd i hope tht thy will last long .
not because i hope for happiness for tht girl but because i hope for happiness for him .
well , if you don't get wh th he is , thn too bad lurhs . ><

baby is so busy now .
maybe flirting w his collegues ? =/
okay , he's not , he's working .
i'm such an annoyance to him , i guess .
tday got back my result nd it's horrible .
but compared to last year's , it's so much better .
must thnk baby for forcing me to study . =x

combined sciene;
/ chem - 24/50
/ bio - 32.5/50
/ total - 47.5/100
combined humanities;
/ geog - 10/50
/ hist - 20/50
/ total - 30/100
mother tongue;
/ paper 1 - 40.5/70
/ paper 2 - 39.5/60
/ paper 3 -
/ total -
art;
/ total - 60/100
mathematics;
/ paper 1 - 36/54
/ paper 2 - 22/
/ total -
english;
/ paper 1 - 50.5/80
/ paper 2 - 38/60
/ paper 3 -
/ total -

those left blank are wht i don't know .
whtever.whtever.whtever

i miss baby so much . ♥♥♥

i'm missing darling at 1:23 PM

whtever.whtever.whtever
i don't know lurhs .
i just find tht everytime you say we will breakup one day if i cont. to be like this is like threatening me .
i'm just like tht , you should have known it earlier .
tell you wht i have had sacrificed also .
do you know tht i have had to send a msg to my friends thn could i manage to send a msg out to you ?
do you know tht i am scolded every night for being online until 12+ am ?
you just simply don't know .

whtever.whtever.whtever
i should just forget abt this incident .
just decided to vent it on this blog .

baby , believe me .
i love you .

tday chatted w him th whole day long .
quite happy to be able to msg him like mad agn .
but i was quite irritating whn he was working . =/
nd tht stupid idiot zhuowen don't want to entertain me .
hence , i'll post his photos down th next time whn i'm free .
i got to offline now so buhbyeeee ~

i'm missing darling at 8:40 PM

you say until like tht i also don't know wht to say lers . =/
okay lurhs .
thn all th more i should wake you up everyday .
finally can resume sms-ing you like mad . =xx
nd you're my baby ! :D

nd you owe me ice-cream wors !
hahs .

i'm missing darling at 11:03 AM

dardar.
i can sacrifice for u
becoz ur my gf, my dardar
so i won let ualone one
i will always be u there
although i tire or watever thing
but i oso acc u
u are my dardar u know.............

wait u o dardar

MUACKXXS

i'm missing darling at 7:42 PM

baby is ♥♥♥ ! :D
was going to call him whn i reached home .
thn i onlined nd i saw him online too !
is not tht i don't want you to call but because i don't have free incoming .
thn i use th phone card also not mine , so nevermind lurhs . ><
if you feel sorry , thn you help me top up whn i'm in malaysia lurhs .
i'll be going thr aft my june holidays w th whole sec3 cohort . =/

baby , this is dedicated to you . (:
i don't know wht i should say .
i know you sleeps at 3am everyday nd usually wakes up at 12pm plus .
but i always call you in th morning .
i remember th first time i called you , you had only slept for 4 hrs .
you seems so tired but you still woke up to fetch my call .
i usually wakes you up whn you're slping .
some other times , you were busy .
i could still vividly remember wht we chat abt bfore we broke up th last time .
th day aft we broke up , we patch agn .
i don't care whn will we breakup but i treasure th time we have tgether now .

aww , baby is online now ! :D

torrent's xinyi . (:

i'm missing darling at 4:29 PM

i know.
i understand
u love me.
but u oso know we can last forever
so i hope u don too serious
becoz i scare will hurt very deep
although i very like u now.
so u take care la

ya lo
i wan call u.
but u ask me don call u lo
i think unfair ma
u waste ur money to call me
but i can't call u
muackxxs............



your torrent

i'm missing darling at 1:46 AM

being always thr doesn't means tht i'm willing to be your pet .
you already pissed me off whn you everytime expect me to be thr w/o even informing me .
so , everything's my fault now ?
so be it , i'm already used to it .
for everything you've done wrong , you just simply push th blame nd say it's her fault .
whtever.whtever.whtever
i can be nice to you , but i can be mean too .
being nice doesn't meant tht i can be bullied .
enough of your lies , i had enough .
freak out of my life nd don't ever talk to me agn .
whtever.whtever.whtever
rumour spreader is detested .

aww . ><
baby is working now , i suppose .
i still got to do my color combination , 6 pieces . -.=
i already left out many things already but th exam paper stated 6 piece of color combination .
so , can't be helped also .
i could only be like a photocopy machine nd draw nd draw . =="

i'm missing darling at 6:53 PM

whtever.whtever.whtever
called baby in th morning nd chatted for awhile .
i'm missing him like oh my gosh .

i'll be online at ard 9pm for him . (:
i love my baby !

breakups are often , hearthaches are often .
but to meet th one you really love , it's almost impossible .
you're right , we won't last forever .
we're just playing nd playing it right .
i love you , for now .
you'll be part of my memory one day .
baby , i just want to let you know ..

silly girl loves silly boy .
i love you , baby .

i'm missing darling at 4:51 PM

drawing is a v. good way to keep me occupied .
i will shut my brain nd draw whtever i see .
maybe thn will i truly stop thinking .

i don't understand wht has gone wrong .
th past is haunting me agn .
i walked th route me nd him took th second time we met .
th same route but you ain't thr anymore ..

okay , i should just shut up nd start drawing agn .

i'm missing darling at 10:28 PM

i'm super duper uber emo-licious now .
i often felt lonliness but i never knew tht lonliness could make me cry .
slacked at th void deck on my own , crying .
i was needing somebody to be thr for me , talking to me .
but thr weren't any .
i felt so miserable .
i suddenly realise tht th whole world has abandoned me nd moved on .
even he is not thr for me , i felt his heart moving on too .
he's going to leave me one day .
i'm forsakened nd left to die on my own .
even th closest friends don't understand .

i'm tired .
i just feel like dying nd not waking up anymore .
waking up everyday is a burden .
can i leave th world ?

i have a boyfriend but i felt just like i don't .

i'm missing darling at 9:06 PM

i'm waiting for baby to online now but ..
freak out larhs .
i'm super duper uber pissed off by his msg .
i will not be online at night for him tonight .
freak ! :(

i'm missing darling at 9:29 AM

soli lo
i not purposely offline one
becoz i slept already lo
so....
soli lo
dardar

i oso no wan u leave me

we are always together one
although we not together but our heart is connect to each other

i love u dardar

i'm missing darling at 10:12 PM

zzz .
baby , sorry tht i couldn't reply to you just now .
but whn i could , you're offline already .
maybe we're not fated ? :(

i love you too . (:
nd i will never let you go .

m-u-a-c-k-s ! :D

i'm missing darling at 6:53 PM

hehe
then ok lo
but not our enermies la them.
haiyo
don say till like this la
i love u very much
i wait your photo.
today line dono y like something wrong lo
haiz.
ok lo
dardar u take care lo.
i oso wan sleep d

i'm missing darling at 3:09 AM

baby , i love you too . (:

hais .
your msn nd my msn are enemies . -.=
whn mine is alright , yours go haywire .
nd whn yours is alright , mine go haywire .

i go to sleep now lers .
i'm so tired by signing in nd out of msn nd also keep on clicking video call w you . =/

i'm missing darling at 12:44 AM

don sad lo
don think too much
i really love u one
dardar

so boring lo i at penang
just can online oli
but very slow
but still need to pay more than hundred a month
haiz
but nvm if can chat with u, dardar


i love u

i'm missing darling at 12:42 AM



i got nth better to do .

baby , i felt myself drifting further away from you .
i don't know why but i feel so insecure .
suddenly felt so out of love , don't understand why either .
i can feel you heart but something is telling me it's beating for her .
i hate to admit it but you never fails to make me jealous .
you still love her , right ?
i'm holding on to something i don't even know if it exist .
disappointments whn i check my phone for your messages but thr weren't any .

my love for you will never chnge .
but will yours be kept th same ?

i'm missing darling at 11:22 AM

baby finally blogged once . (:
tday sort of neglected baby because i was out th whole day .
many many things happened tday .
firstly , chriscendo send me nd leemei aeroplane .
secondly , my slippers spoilt nd i got three blisters .
thirdly , th stupid idiot pig called zhaoming talk nonsensical things .
forthly , leemei was so emotionally unstable tht yihuan thinks tht she's going to commit suicide .
nd lastly , me nd yihuan found out alot of things , in fact , too many things .

baby , this is for you .


----

aww .
i shouldn't be blogging now .
talking to my baby now ! (:

i'm missing darling at 11:05 PM

this blog not oli u
but us one
i love my dardar

i'm missing darling at 11:45 PM

whtever.whtever.whtever
i confirmed tht my parents found out abt us lers .
i'm such a failure , want to hide smth from thm also can't .
baby is registering for his broadband now .

----

my super duper baby !
whnever i sms you , you will reply v. fast derhs .
whn i'm bored , you will always be thr .
whn i need someone to tell me tht everything's going to be alright , you'll be thr .
you are always thr whn i need you .
you never fail to make me smile even whn i don't want to .
tht's why i love you so much ! ♥♥♥
you're mine nd nobody could snatch you away . (:

----

i will not be online so often .
because i need to start on my art exam nd th final exam is next wed ! D:
i was too busy those few days so i got to finish up everything as soon as possible .
nd i'm busy bball-ing w th FuHua's peeps nowadays . =/
tht stupid Chriscendo make my hands all red nd dirtied my bag .
thn th ZhaoMing keep on showing off his many many earholes . -.=

----

buhbyeeee ! :D
i have nth else to blog abt . =x

i'm missing darling at 9:08 PM

why does this blog seems like my personal blog ?
because baby's broadband is only coming next tues nd he has been using his dad's phone to online .
hence , he will not be able to blog .
can hardly contact him nowadays because my card's IDD call/Global sms left $8.06 .
at first got $100+ but sms nd sms nd sms thn call nd call nd call him .
but it will be worser if i'm living in malaysia .
i sms RM55 sms-ing in 3 days , so in a day , it is ard RM18 nd if it is a yr ?
it will be RM6570 , oh my gosh !
arghh , i want to buy some presents for him nd send it to him .
but i don't know how to send parcels .. ><

----

woke up at 11 plus thnks to many many miss calls from no number . sms chat w leemei nd baby thn ate lunch .
was writing my bio notes whn th i-don't-know-his-name called me to go down to hke .
studied from 12pm to 6pm , if i still fail my bio , i got nothing to say .
tht is how my day passed agn .
bio nd chem paper tomorrow ! D:
i don't understand a single thing about chem lurhs . ><

nd baby is online ! :D

i'm missing darling at 9:29 PM

arghh , fuck .
my mum quarrell w dad thn everything is all my fault agn ?
whtever.whtever.whtever
she pushes all th blame to me , she makes me feel tht i'm th fault to everything .
she nd my dad just simply don't understand me at all .
freak out ! D:

i don't know lurhs .
i'm in a bad mood now because of my mum nd dad .
i really hate to come home , everytime smth goes wrong , it's my fault agn .
nd they can cont. hating me all they likes because i hates them too .

----

nd i'm not a dog , not your dog .
you don't rule my life , you are just a bystander .
friends or are you just treating me like rubbish ?
i don't understand why you chnged .
so nice nd sweet you were whn i first met you , but you suddenly became like a bitch out on th streets .
you're always making use of me , i always turn a blind eye to it .
you did almost every single thing tht has dissapointed me ..
i want to trust you but every thing you're doing now dissapoints me .
too true , tht's why it hurts .
i treated you w my best attitude , my utmost love to you but you take it as rubbish .
believe me , i won't let you carry on w your ways .
it's making my life horrid nd disgusted .

----

happy bday to you !
happy bday to you !
happy bday to baby !
happy bday to you ! :D
baby , i miss you !

----

你的过去我来不及参与 , 可是我保证你的未来里一定有一个我 . (:
m-u-a-c-k-s ! :DD

i'm missing darling at 4:53 PM

baby, i ♥ you ! :D

our relationship started on 27o4o8 , broke up on 3oo4o8 nd patched on o1o5o8 .
th reason of our breakup is because you don't believe in me nd think tht i'm just playing you .
i promise you, i would nvr ever play you nd i love you .

i'm always smiling w glee whn you tells me tht you are jealous .
you once told me tht thr is two girls you like , one is me nd th other is a girl you liked for 4 years .
i was so jealous nd afraid tht i cried .
jealous because i'm not your only one nd afraid because you might leave me .

i don't know since whn i started to rely on you so much .
if you're going to leave me one day , i think my life will be meaningless .
my heart loves you nd my brain misses you .
you're my one nd only .
i don't care wht others thinks or says abt us .
i just care wht you think nd say .

cupid arrow struck us . (:
nd i love you , forever nd ever .

----

ytd was my 15th bday nd tmorrow is darling's 19th bday ! :DD
aft school , went to kfc to meet yihuan nd leemei .
ate nd headed down to hke .
intended to study , but end up playing bball w leemei whn yihuan left for home .
thn me nd leemei camwhore-ed , because i said i want to camwhore . =x
walked home on my own , feel so lonely w/o yihuan .
but i still got baby to sms chat w me ! :D

i think my dad found out abt me nd baby but he act like he don't know .
maybe he still thinks tht he is th cause why me nd yuanhong broke up ?
i don't even dare to tell him tht we were still together whn he insisted tht we must breakup . =x
6 mths ago , on this v. day , yuanhong left me .
but it's alright because i have my baby . (:


happy bday to me ! (:
nd it's a new chapter to my life .


me nd mummy are th gossip-ers cum camwhore-ers ! :D
first one was off-angle nd i was grinning in th second one . =/

----

aww , baby is finally online . ><
buhbyyyyes ! (:

i'm missing darling at 7:47 AM